4 R's of Civil Discourse
Are you fed up with hate speech, inflammatory rhetoric, and uncivil discourse in politics and social media? You can help change the angry, polarizing climate by becoming a force for peace!
Here are some practical ways to catalyze peace with wisdom. We call them the 4 R's of civil discourse:
1. Be Respectful
If we, as followers of Jesus, take the Scriptures seriously, we must “show proper respect to everyone” (1 Peter 2:17 NIV).
When we see an outlandish social media post, get an angry email, or have an intense debate face to face, let’s resist the temptation to fight fire with fire. Even if the other person's words are hateful and evil, we can still do our part to speak and behave respectfully.
Let’s remember that all people are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-28). We should see the face of God in everyone and treat them with dignity, whether Muslims, Mexicans, African Americans, Caucasians, Democrats or Republicans (and the list goes on…).
2. Be Relational
Relational communication is loving communication. “Let all that you do be done in love,” says Paul (1 Corinthians 16:14 NAU). Let’s speak and write in such a way as to manifest love and strengthen the relationship.
So when we face controversy or conflict, we remember to attack the problem, not the person. We are commanded to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking the truth means we can debate issues and expose problems. In fact we must do so! But speaking the truth “in love” means there should be no angry edge to our communication.
Our late founding President Rick Love said this: “When I receive criticism on facebook I’m tempted to respond in kind. But I have made it a personal rule to never respond quickly. I first take time to ponder and pray. I often thank people for sharing their views. Then I like to ask questions to make sure I understand their concerns. Questions also help people think more deeply about their statements. Sometimes these questions expose the error of my critics. Sometimes they open the door to deeper, meaningful dialogue. Either way, questions are good and help keep us focused on the problem rather than the person.”
3. Be Reasonable
The God of truth commands us to love Him with our minds, so civil discourse should be reasonable. This means that we engage in dialogue and debates by presenting facts and giving arguments for what we believe.
Reasonable people weigh the evidence for a position and change their mind if persuaded – which leads to the last R of civil discourse...
4. Be Receptive
When we engage in civil discourse we should be receptive to other viewpoints. Proverbs repeatedly says that the wise person receives reproof - which means wise people are eager to learn and grow (Proverbs 12:1, 15; 15:31; 19:20). Civil discourse means we don’t enter conversations with our mind made up and with the intent simply to win or to convince someone of our view. It means we genuinely engage in dialogue. We genuinely listen and are genuinely open to what another person has to say, whether or not we end up agreeing in the end.
The four R’s of civil discourse can be summed up in one word: WISDOM. The book of Proverbs and the letter of James teach that wisdom is about both our wording and our being, about a discerning mind and a gentle heart.
If we each make an effort to practice these 4 R’s of civil discourse, together we’ll be a powerful force for peace in our world. Are you in?
